PROCLAMATION NO. 1017
TABACHOI'S PROCLAMATION DECLARING A STATE OF NATIONAL EMERGENCY
WHEREAS, over these past months, I am using the AUV type of public transportation (also known as FX taxis), going to and from my office in Ayala Avenue.
WHEREAS, it takes a total of two hours of my day riding these FX taxis.
WHEREAS, the drivers of these FX taxis prefer listening to radio stations playing mostly novelty music, namely 90.7 Love Radio (Kailangan Pa Bang I-Memorize Yan?), 91.5 Energy FM (Super Ka Talaga), 93.9 IFM (Ang radio ko I), 101.1 Yes FM (Mula Ng Makilala Ka Ako Ay Napaakit Mo), 101.9 DWRR (Alam Mo Na Yan), at 102.7 Star FM (Bombo Radio)
WHEREAS, some of these radio stations employ disc jockeys who thrive on statements with very sexual undertones (i.e., 90.7 Love Radio's "Papa Jack, Cool Hanggang Labasan")
WHEREAS, this type of programming, aimed to provide entertainment to the "bakya" audience, does not, in any way, amuse the passengers of the FX taxis, which are members of the middle class.
WHEREAS, these radio stations are adversely affecting my chances of career advancement.
WHEREAS, due to the Last Song Syndrome phenomenon, I hum Lito Camo's Datu Puti Jingle (Jumbo Jumbo Jumbo Pack) to work, which inadvertently turns off my immediate supervisor, which means he would think twice when considering any promotion for me.
NOW, THEREFORE, I Tabachoi Most High, Co-founder of the We Hate Cueshe Yahoo Group, an aspiring neophyte in the Jimmy Bondoc Is The Shit Club, Self-proclaimed Commander-In-Chief of the Anti-Uruk Hai Forces of The Philippines, by virtue of the powers vested upon me by Section 18, Article 123, do hereby command the prevention and supression of all forms of excrement infesting our Philippine airwaves, as well any act of publicly patronizing addled, backward, besotted, boring, brainless, daffy, daft, dense, dim, dim-witted, doltish, dumb, feeble-minded, half-baked, half-witted, ignorant, imbecilic, indolent, insensate, low, moronic, not bright, numskulled, obtuse, retarded, scatterbrained, shallow, simple, simple-minded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupid, tedious, thick, unintellectual, vacuous, wearisome, witless type of entertainment, and to enforce obedience to all the laws and to all decrees, orders and regulations promulgated by me personally or upon my direction; and as provided in Section 69, Article 666 do hereby declare a State of National Emergency.
IN WITNESS HEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Hello Kitty Seal of Approval to be affixed.
Done in the City of Manila, this 24th day of February, in the year of Our Lord, two thousand and six.
TABACHOI
President
Death To Lito Camo Club
11 comments:
*clap clap*
na-entertain ako ng husto! alphabetical pa ung adjectives mo!!! :P
pagpatuloy mo ang laban! hehehe!
alphabetical yan kasi nag-search ako ng synonyms ng "brainless" sa dictionary.com
hehehe
amen, kapatid, amen! nasa iyo ang buong suporta ng lahat ng mga ka'tol natin!
sabi ko na nga ba...kaya alphabetical eh. he he he. entertaining pa rin..kala ko nga tungkol sa pulitika yung artikol mo.=p
may nabili akong song mag...nagulat ako may nabasa akong review ng Beatiful Machines..shit!!!sabi ko sa sarili ko..may nangopya ng blog entry ni dodobird!!!teka kay dodo nga ba?! ah hindi kay tabachoi yata...tiningnan ko kaagad kung sino nagsulat...
..it was you, tabachoi
Lupet!!! malupet, sobra.. meron b talgang nakakaappreciate sa non-sensical radio stations like that?, siguro 2:60 ratio.. Eg 2(driver & conductor ng bus) over 60 (pasengers). This only shows that mas marami p rin satin ang di pa edukado sa more meaningful media. Kaya nga may mga artistang nasa politika. HAAYY! (butung-hininga, butung-hininga)
We are all looking for music that's more than just out there. I join you in that search.
I'm taking your humorous article in a tongue-in-cheek manner. But one has tounderstand though that taxi drivers play those stations not for the passengers, but most probably for themselves. Sorry na lang tayo.
But should we actually impale them on a stake for having taste that we consider to be inferior? Does that also mean that just because they may honestly consider those stations as soundtracks to their lives, that they are uneducated? (Maybe that's only because they never get a chance to listen to other stuff. But would they actually want to?) Most probably not, since they have families to feed. They dont have enough space in their heads to worry about cultural/artistic legitimacy, which is a middle-to-upper-class concern. Simply because the middle-to-upper-class people can afford to.
The lower classes don't. But if we eliminate them, who will run society's basic functions?
It's a really big issue if one thinks about it. I could go on and on, but that needs a separate blog entry.
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Personally, while I'd rather not go out of my way to listen to the aforementioned radio stations, I find listening to them interesting. I sometimes get my creative spurt listening to a teeny-weeny voice going "Kelangan pa bang i-memoriiiize yuhn?" :p Not to mention a few catchy notes that are just to delicious to pass up. But that's me. hehe.
moving forward siguro, im currently utilizing the help of a headset and an fm radio. makinig sila kung anong gusto nilang pakinggan, ganun din ako.
astig ka kuya tabachoi!!! pwede ba kitang i-link? (mamili ka, i-link sa'kin o sa blog ko?) haha. blog na nga lang. pwede po ba?
Hey Niel.
-haze
link lang ng link! hehe
excuiseme..... ur d editor of a local song hits I onced read..well its cool:)
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